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Stories

Flaming Bag O' dookey

I live in a small ranch in a small, quiet subdivision full of retirees. Very nice people. However, on occasion, grandchildren come to visit and can provide some... entertaining challenges. My home sits on a lot right next to a farm field. The wide open space is one of the main reasons I bought this house.

One evening in fall of 2006, my doorbell rang at about 2:30 am. I was still awake and reading in the library so I distinctly heard the sound of giggling and could see the reflection of what must have been flames coming from my front porch.

Instead of going to the front door, I went to the basement and dug out an old friend. It took a while to find, and the door bell must have wrung a half dozen times. When my friend and I walked out the back door, the door bell was being held down <grin> I suppose someone was getting a bit impatient. Not to worry, I was on my way, just not how they figured it would go <evil grin>.

We walked around the side of my house towards the neighbors house, you'll see why in a moment <evil grin>. Quietly slipping just past the shrub on the corner of my house, I saw 2 kids that sounded about 12 or 13 by their size. There was a third person standing well back from the door. From his voice, I could definitely tell it was a male and older than the two risky being caught by ringing the doorbell. All of them were within 40 feet of me.

Now, this one, the one who hiding, but telling the other two what to do, he was almost running away already. I'll refer to him as Boss Runaway. He bugged me, mostly because of how he was badgering the giggly twins into doing something he himself was too scared to do. That type of person, well, they just get under my skin.

So that is why I decided to introduce my friend to him first. My friend being, of course, my paint ball marker. Oh yes, there they were, having their little discussion about how to wake me up when a dozen paint balls came flying towards Boss Runaways tender behind. It took him all of two seconds panic and start running, straight for me, only to meet a few more paint balls. Approaching from this side of the house put me between them and the "safety" of all those other houses. Open field is never a good place to "hide". Well, almost never <grin>.

I swear, Boss Runaway was an idiot. He was about 3 feet away before he even saw me, then he squawked, fell over, and ran off towards the field. Which, of course, left him in range for a few minutes more, but by then, it was more fun to miss him that hit him. And I might have been laughing a little too hard to aim straight <Grin>.

The giggly twins, when they heard the marker, simply hunkered down in front of the door and tried to hide under a shrub. Oh, I don't think they thought I would miss them, but maybe realized it was futile to run.

I walked over to them and stood with marker over shoulder, glaring at them. After a couple seconds, they said they were sorry. I simply asked them WHY?

Their response was pretty surprising. They said that they were visiting their grandparents and didn't want to "prank" one of grandma's friends since she would know and tan their hides. Boss Runaway wanted to "prank" one of the other folks around the corner, but the giggly twins apparently wouldn't do it because the guy was old. Since Boss Runaway wouldn't do the deed himself, he was stuck.

Apparently, they spent a really long time <10 minutes, which is an eternity for a kid> deciding that all the other neighbors were too old too. So they settled on me. It was about then that they figured I wasn't going to get them like I did their cousin. And with that relief, they started to giggle and laugh, recalling how their cousin thought he was so safe and smart not to get caught, until tonight. They apparently enjoyed seeing him yowl and jump around like a crazy monkey <grin>.

I admit, I did laugh too, but only a little. And I did make them clean up the mess and take it away with them. Fortunately, they really didn't know what they were doing, so it was easy for them to clean up.

 

 

 

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